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Unforgiveness really isn’t worth it…


Unforgiveness really isn’t worth it…

Unforgiveness really isn’t worth it…

You ever dreaded being in the same place of a person that you know you have something against? You get that stomach feeling right? I don’t really know what to call that feeling but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.

No one likes to admit that they get “the stomach” feeling but it’s true. As soon as you see them something happens inside of you. You can’t explain it, you can’t avoid it, and you can’t control it. Your stomach drops and the nervous, envious, anxious, angry or resentful feeling that you convinced yourself you conquered starts to rear its ugly head. You thought it was gone. You thought you dealt with it and moved on, but when you actually see them, when you have the opportunity to be in the same room with them. That feeling that you thought was a distant memory seems to come out of hibernation like a bear on a warm spring morning.

Let me ask you something, have you forgiven them? No, like seriously, really forgiven them.

I know the initial answer to that question is yes, especially for Christians because we whom have been forgiven for so much would never outwardly admit that we haven’t forgiven someone else. That’s like the cardinal most obvious rule that you don’t break, you can’t not forgive someone being a Christian, but yet the question still remains, have you forgiven them?

I’m not asking you have you moved on. I’m asking you have you forgiven them. There’s a big difference and I think that sometimes we think moving on is forgiveness. We think that since we’re happy now that this is a clear indication that “I’m Over It”, until you see them.

Ahh see I think that’s the real indicator right. I mean we can all move on. Out of sight out of mind, that’s how the old saying goes. But who’s to say that you’ve really forgiven them…… UNTIL you see them.

Until you face them and nothing in your body moves. Until you can look them in their eyes and with a genuine sincerity say, “wow you look great, how’ve you been?”

See I think that’s when the true test comes because sometimes we make ourselves believe something that not a reality because that way you don’t have to have the hard conversation.

We’re perfect at avoiding conversations and hitting ourselves with our go-to excuse, “I’ll be praying for them”. Maybe the person you should be praying for is you. Praying that God gives you the grace and courage to have the conversation with them.

I know you hoped that the reconciliation process stopped at prayer, but actually that’s where it begins.

Check this out…

[shadowbox]“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” – Matthew 5:23 NLT[/shadowbox]

This is a challenging scripture here. It challenges your maturity in Christ because it takes a mature person, who isn’t on the side of the offense, to initiate the process and go to the person who has something against them. You would think that if a person has something against you isn’t it their responsibility to come to you and reconcile, you’re not the one with the problem.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that…

It’s funny how God works you know? The reason I say that is because most of the time I’ve went to Him about an issue with another person He just shows me myself.

I think that’s why the prayer part is important in reconciliation. Even if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong God will reveal to you His thoughts about you, and give you the wisdom and grace to handle the conversation in a way that bears fruit.

So I ask you again, have you forgiven them?

It’s really not worth it when you think about it. Everything that comes with unforgiveness just rots away at your soul and can have tremendous effects on your relationship with God. Maybe, dare I say, that your forgiveness of them can determine your eternal destination?

[shadowbox]“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” – Matthew 6:15[/shadowbox]

Ouch. Well thanks for that reminder Jesus!

Jesus is like the KING of one liners haha.

So maybe this conversation is going to be a tough one. That doesn’t give you the green light to avoid it. Pray for wisdom and discernment on how to approach the conversation. Pray for healing of your heart before you go to them. You would hate for things to go south because emotions run high and now you’re back where you started.

As long as He’s guiding you and you can see and feel his love for the other person. That feeling tends to override any others. The feeling of undeserved grace and agape love will to put things into perspective for you.

So go for it, you got this…..

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Joshua is the founder of The Fly Society Podcast, author of The Power of Vision, Entrepreneur and Executive Pastor at his local church. Get more information at

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