Letting go of a relationship that is bad for you may not always present itself as a challenge. If you want better and refuse to settle, letting go may not be something you struggle with. Who wouldn’t want better?
However, what happens when the Lord calls you to let go of a relationship- friendship or romantic relationship- that isn’t necessarily bad, just not His will for you? Now that may strike a nerve.
I remember years ago being in a relationship with a man that I was convinced I was going to marry. This man was good to me. My desires mattered to him. He took care of my car. He took care of me. He cooked. He cleaned. I was a priority to him. We even bought a puppy together! He loved me, deeply. And I loved him.
We had been together for over a year and things were good. There wasn’t really anything wrong with our relationship. And then one night I had a dream. Basically, the Lord showed that this wasn’t a relationship He wanted me to continue, more so for the guy’s sake. There were some things the Lord desired to do in his life and God showed me that I was a hindrance. So he told me to let it go.
But why, Lord?
I couldn’t understand for the life of me why I had to let go of something that was perfectly okay.
I continued to fight the Lord’s call. He would whisper, “Let it go” over and over again until finally the whisper became more of an urgent demand.
Try having to explain to someone that, even though all is well, you can no longer be together.
The same can be said about friendships. Maybe you have or have had a friend who doesn’t take away from your life but doesn’t really add much either. Maybe you guys have been friends for years and you have become so comfortable with each other that the relationship is no longer edifying. The problem is, it doesn’t tear you down either- it has simply become dead weight.
Or what if, unbeknownst to you, the Lord just doesn’t see fit for that friendship to be attached to you anymore? You don’t know why, you just know the Lord is asking you to let it go.
When it came to my situation with my ex, one day I came across a scripture that hit me straight in the face.
John 14:15 “If you love me, obey my commandments.”
The thing is, this scripture doesn’t just point towards the 10 commandments; it refers to anything, any command the Lord may give us. If you have a relationship with the Lord, then I’m sure He is speaking to you. I’m sure He is guiding and directing you. If He speaks and gives you something to do, that is a command, and, as the scripture states, if you love Him, you’ll do it.
At that point, I had a decision to make: Hold on to the relationship because it is good to me, or let it go so that the Lord could do something great for the both of us? Was I going to obey the commandment that the Lord gave me or stay in the relationship and be disobedient? If I really loved God, letting go of the relationship was a must. It’s not that it was going to be an easy decision to make, but it was a decision that had to be made.
Sometimes the Lord will ask or command us to do something we don’t understand. And the thing is, it really isn’t about understanding- it’s about doing! Another aspect of faith is making a move without having an explanation for it, making a decision without a reason.
What if holding on to what you think is best is keeping you from what God knows is best? What if He wants to trade your ordinary for extraordinary?
God has promised to do just that for us. He promised He promised just that- beyond what you can or think. If you can think it, He has better. If you can ask for it, He has better.
Ephesians 3:20 “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us”
Do you want better?
Trust Him enough to let go. Trust Him enough to allow Him to be sovereign in your life.
If He’s asking you to let go and you don’t understand why, will you trust that He has better in store for you?
In no way am I suggesting that this won’t be easy. Actually, I want you to know that it will be hard. If it’s a relationship or a friendship that you have invested time and emotion into, it won’t be easy. But, don’t let that discourage you. God can and will heal you. He will definitely do His part. The key is allowing Him to heal you.
Do what you have to in order to protect your heart. If you have to hit that unfollow button on social media, do it! If you have to delete or block the number, do it! Keep in mind, though, you will need God’s help with it! Find scriptures on contentment, fear and worry. Meditate on those scriptures. Recite them and let your heart be healed.
If God is telling you to let go of a friendship or a relationship, know that He is not trying to torture you- He is protecting you. Furthermore, He never asks us to let go of something that He won’t replace with better. Whether it be a job, friend, relationship, whatever- if He asks you to let it go, it’s because He has something better in store.
Think about that. Has there ever been a time when God asked you to let go of something and He didn’t give you something else in return that was much better and more fulfilling? Maybe it took some time, but He did it.
I know it sounds cliche, but maybe the Lord wants to take you to a place that this person is not allowed to go with you.
Remember, His ways are not our way nor His thoughts our thoughts. We won’t always understand why He does what He does or why He commands what He commands. But we can always trust that whatever it is, He has our best interest and our best life in mind.